A Rant About Gravel

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“Wait, is this seriously an article about gravel?” you might think. Yes. Yes, it is. Because
A) I have a lot of opinions about everything and I like to rant a lot, and
B) Gravel genuinely sucks
Sorry Nancy Sinatra, but these boots AREN’T made for walking. At least not in a parking lot filled with gravel. God only knows how many pairs of shoes I’ve lost because of the shoe-eating parasite that is LSE’s parking lot.

While I’m only mentioning shoes and how my feet hurt if I have to walk through the parking lot (let’s pretend it doesn’t have anything to do with my extreme lack of physical fitness), you should know that my heart goes out to all car owners who have weekly emotional breakdowns because their cars’ tires have weekly physical breakdowns. It’s not fair, I know. But what can we do, it’s a harsh, gravel filled world out there :/

 

It especially sucks when you’re already late, and then you have to walk through the entirety of the parking lot (because of course, two stickers for your two cars would be an abomination) and halfway through the length of it, your vision begins to dwindle, and the world around you begins to spin. You look down, and to your horror, your feet have detached themselves from your legs because the gravel is vicious and mean and cruel and good Lord, make it stop.

 

While we can’t do much apart from whining and ranting about actual stones, I’m sure we can implore the administration to take notice of our plight and maybe de-gravel (Un-gravel?) the parking lot. Anything will do as a replacement, honestly. Sand, wooden planks, the skin of our enemies. We’re not picky. Just remove the damned gravel, that is all we ask for. We would thank you, our feet would thank you, and if tires could speak, I’m sure they would thank you also.

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