Legends of the fall

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Pakistan is a nation where there is always something happening. We are people full of love and generosity. We Pakistanis are full of energy, we love to party, we love to dance and we love to remain united. 2017 was the year where there were certain things that forced us to come together under one umbrella and enjoy the moment we were living in. No, I am not talking about the fact that we won the Champions Trophy or that we finally came together against corruption. Yeh sab choti cheezain hain. Let’s look at what affected us the most.

Unlce Majboor: An innocent middle aged man takes out his frustration on some useless sacks of wheat and EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR MIND! Let’s be honest, we’re all tensed, we have problems, some can’t find a good job and some can’t find a good wife, hum pareshan hain aur pareshan ho kay we go to the place where we find peace, our happy place, our washroom. So we’re just going to blame this worried man just because he didn’t have time to go to his happy place and made do with whatever came his way and just because some insensitive man decided to record all of this happening? KON LOG HO YAAR?  AAAKHIR WOU MARD HAI MARD! PLEASE USSSAY CHOR DO! JAAN NIKAL JAYEGI, LEKIN TUMKO KYA MALOOM?

Bhola Record: What happens when a Punjabi man has a lot of money? He goes to Dubai, DUH! Now all you idiotic people will ask me “What’s so special about Dubai?” Well, let me tell you guys. Dubai is that paradise where you can easily fly to and get all your tensions released for a mere amount of 5000 dirhams. Don’t believe me? Well, ask Bhola, the man who shook the nation when yet another insensitive imbecile decided to upload his video. Uski feelings nahi hain? Kisi nain uskay baray mein tou nahi socha. All of you could only criticize. Shame on you!

Kamlesh: Solution is my life, I eat solution, I drink solution, I live solution! This is what Kamlesh, a mere child of 13-14 years had to say when asked about what was the most important thing in his life. Further adding to his statements Kamlesh says “Solution hi meri Maa hai, solution hi mera Baap hai”. Dun dun dun dun. That is what is probably going to happen if you run away from home at such a young age but eventually it gets better because sharaab peeta, hoon, cigarette peeta hoon, beeri peeta hoon! Nido ki maa ki aankh.

Mr Ijaz (the legendary pacer): This man is big!……………..I mean he’s a big legend, what’d you think? Mr Ijaz was a contestant who appeared on the famous Jeeto Pakistan show on ARY. He is a fast bowler known for his skills, his pace and his accuracy because the whole time he bowled his wife could only appreciate him by saying “Ijaz Sahab darmiyan mein daalaian (referring to the accuracy), Ijaz Sahab jaldi jaldi (referring to the pace) and finally “IJAZ SAHAAAAAB!!!!!!!!” (which means OVER UP!). We have to give credit to Ijaz Sahab because he has made a name for himself as a fast bowler in such a short amount of time.

So guys, let’s have a round of applause for all these legends who made our Facebook newsfeed all the more interesting! 2017 was their year!

 The author is a junior at LSE.

Muhammad Ali

BBA III- Section L

teepoo97@gmail.com