Poop or Problem?


So a while back there were a lot of posts on Facebook regarding toilets in India. As a patriotic Pakistani it was my job to ignore anything regarding India because “dushman dushman hota hai”. So I didn’t really conduct an in depth research into what the issue was.

No matter how much you hate India you can NOT just let go of a good Bollywood movie, I mean come on; I grew up watching Dilwale Dulhania Lay Jayenge and Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. So one day, I’m sitting and surfing the internet to find the best Indian movies of 2017. To my surprise there was a movie titled “Toilet: Ek Prem Katha”. For a moment I was like “WTH, why would somebody make a movie about a toilet?” So I did some more research and found out that Toilet was the 5th highest grossing film of India for the year 2017. This was something even more surprising.

Like any other confused guy I decided to watch the movie. The story is set in a village in India and revolves around a guy who falls in love with a girl from his village but his superstitious father wants a daughter in law with two thumbs because according to him it is a good omen (and I thought Modi Ji was stupid, guess I was wrong). So this guy tricks his father somehow and gets married to the love of his life and that’s when the real struggle begins.

The morning right after their wedding night, the couple is woken by the village women who are here to call the newly wedded wife to join the “Lota Party”. Since nobody would know what a Lota Party is, let me explain. In India it is considered impure to defecate in the same area in which you eat. So the men who are basically the superior among the genders can poop wherever they want whereas the women go to a faraway place, in groups, with their personal Lotas so that they can gossip and relieve themselves at the same time.

So the movie revolves around this newly wedded guy fighting against his whole community so that he may be able to build a washroom in his own home otherwise his wife is going to leave him since she comes from a household with a washroom inside the house.

The funniest part of the movie is the fact that it is based on the true story of a woman who was going to leave her husband for the very same reason. The toilet problem in India is real. It is surprising because we don’t hear about it much. So all of you who say that independence from India was pointless, well I wish you were a woman from a village in India.

This article was written in a satirical tone and to raise awareness about the social issue in India. No animals were harmed during the writing of this article. Any references are entirely there for humor and not to offend anyone in case Modi Ji does read it.

The author is a patient of constipation and junior at LSE.

Written By

Muhammad Ali

BBA III, Section L